Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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