Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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