dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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