2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
