you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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