i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
