I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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