I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
