All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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