I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
