At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
it's like heaven, but drunker
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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