You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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