Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
