At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
