pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
