Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
