I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
