well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
