If you die in college, do you die in real life?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
