So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
