The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
