That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
