I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
