before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
