Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize