Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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