Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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