I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
