yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
"it" just moved
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize