'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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