dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
