I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We are all done wearing pants today
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
