So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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