you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize