Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
