apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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