hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Its about making memories worth repressing
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
