The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It's never too late to be topless.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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