i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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