Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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