Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
3pm strippers are depressing
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
