Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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