I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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