After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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