Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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