My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
