Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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