there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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