Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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