So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
