i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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