you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
