So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
