I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
