You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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