everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
