the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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