Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
