So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
