look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i think we sleep fucked last night...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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