I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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