before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
