i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
