It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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