K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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