If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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