Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
