We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
